In memory of grandad

I’m planning to post more about my wild challenge soon. Today, though, I’d like to share something I wrote yesterday in memory of my grandad who sadly passed away this week.

Date of post: Saturday, 6th March 2021

I painted this robin today in memory of my grandad

My grandad passed away in his sleep on Thursday. In many ways, it was a kindness to him. He’d battled Parkinson’s for years and, more recently, he somehow overcame covid and sepsis. I’m glad in lots of ways that he doesn’t have to fight any more.

That said, I’m struggling to accept and process a few things. The last time I saw my grandad was February 2020. I’d travelled up to my family so I could record memories. His mind was not at its best when I spoke to him last year, but words can’t describe how glad I am that I took the opportunity to tape his thoughts and memories.

I’m also struggling with the fact that he passed away on his own in a care home, with my grandma and family unable to see him since early January. Though there wasn’t anything that could be done about this, I find it hard not knowing how my grandad looked in his final days. No photos or opportunity to see him have made it difficult to picture him.

As I started the grieving process yesterday, I went on a walk. I let the tears flow when they needed to and took in the sights and sounds when I felt I could. There were lots of robins singing and nibbling about in the hedgerows. They reminded me of my grandad’s love of birds. He loved to paint as well – something lovely that I have in common with him.

So this robin is my way of remembering him. It’s something to help me when I question why he passed away alone and why I don’t know what he looked like in his final months. And it’s something for me to place on my wall and for me to smile at when I think of him.

Geoff Jenkins 1938-2021

Thank you to all my family, friends and colleagues for sharing their warm wishes. It means so much.